Probably one of the greatest things in life is to forget. It is amazing that one remembers good days, but the bad days has a way of disappearing like the mist before the sun. I do not know about other people, but sometimes in a melancholy kind of way, while busy with introspection. I do think about all the UN necessary emotional pain and sadness I caused. I do not think I did it intentionally to hurt anybody, but it was still the actions of a selfish bully, who put himself before anything or anyone.
It is only now, when you have gone through life’s washing machine that the roads and pathways are so much easier to see and to navigate. Of course there are still mistakes and stupid avenues, but it is at least manageable, and it does not happen very often. When you are younger you go through so many stages of “storm und angst”, you think these experiences are solo……. important, just to look back at them, to see they were insignificant small bumps in the road.
I am currently fighting a few of these “huge” challenges, and although I know, that in the end it will be insignificant clouds of mist, it still has the ability to make you sink to the dark doldrums. It is then important to remember the dragons you have fought and survived. Important to notice that survive is the key word, because winning is reserved for only special occasions. I will not allow these scary, dark moments to rule or to prescribe my future or to be a special occasion.
So it’s time to look up and away to the horizons, time to look at the top of the mountains. Think about the pleasure of life , and say to oneself , you useless piece of shit , pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start to fight , like only you can , because in the end these “challenges” , will also only be insignificant small bumps in the road.
My friend Gavin Kirk always say ,that everything that happened in your past , shapes you to be the human being who you are today . The secret of being happy is to accept this person, make peace with him and most important, enjoy him! Because it is only then, when you think about how little time is left that you want more!

Hein

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